This comic is actually very redundant, ‘coz if you haven’t heard all about this movie already, you’ve either been living under a rock or are the luckiest person on the planet. Quite possibly both. But hey, the movie’s been seen and the comic’s been made. And you’re on this page already, so might as well give it a read, no? Okgo. Read!

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As I write this, ‘Bodyguard’ is well on its way to smashing all known domestic box-office records! Of course, that isn’t saying much because Indian audiences will flock to the theaters just to see Salman Khan flex his muscles to dhol-based music for 2 hours. And let me tell you folks – That movie would be infinitely more bearable than the interminable dross that was ‘Bodyguard’!

EDIT – Mild brainwanderage seems to have happened. Kareena’s character is, in fact, called Divya and *not* Priya, like I so awesomely seem to have changed it to mid-comic here. Many thanks, commenter Shilpa!

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Before we start, a retraction. A few of you were kind enough to point out that I’d picked on the Sex & The City 2 people a little unfairly on at least one count. So, let it be known that there are, in fact, women in Abu Dhabi who wear designer Versace outfits underneath their Burkhas. Apologies to the makers of the film. But your film was still shit.

Now, I am man enough to own up to a mistake when I make one. I will always call a spade a spade. As a corollary, you can safely assume that I will not call a card that is not a spade a spade. For example, you will *never* see me buy the rights to a semi-popular Hollywood flick, take a gazillion creative liberties with it, add my own Ekta Kapoor-esque ending, and market it as an official remake… Unlike the makers of this louliness of a film.

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Couple of shoutouts to Atrisa & @MumbaiCentral here! I’m sure you lovely ladies can figure out your contributions to this comic. Many thanks! =)

At the time of writing, 3 Idiots has already gone on to become what is, evidently, the biggest opening weekend a Bollywood movie has ever seen. Now, considering that the previous record holder was also an Aamir Khan movie, this should hardly come as a surprise. If I stop writing now, will anyone even notice? No one ever actually reads this part, do they? o_O

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Kurbaan is the second part of the recent “Give-Back-To-The-NRI-Community” Bollywood trilogy that has dealt with Post 9/11 America. The first of these movies, all of which are set in New York, was of course, the innovatively titled ‘New York’. The third will be ‘My Name Is Khan’.

Now, I know what you’re thinking… “If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all!”, right? Wrong! Kurbaan, starring Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor and Vivek Oberoi is a true gem that stands apart from the rest… If I was to analogize, Kurbaan is to socially relevant cinema what Savita Bhabhi is to the empowerment of women. You’ll see…

Can’t see the entire webcomic… spoof… movie review.. whatchamacallit below? Download the strip from here.

The ‘must-watch’ tag associated with this post is strictly for symmetry-maintaining purposes. Because Kambakkht Ishq is about as Must-Watch as a Rakhi Sawant interview. Now, since there is no way I can fully do justice to the mind-numbing brilliance of this movie, I lay no claim to the humour quotient of this piece. You’re just gonna have to see it as my good deed for the week. An effort to let people take an informed decision before watching this dementia-inducing wonderfulness.

It should go without saying, but still : MAJOR-ASS SPOILER ALERT!

PS – Feel free to use the star-rating apparatus given below. It’s starting to feel a little loser-ish and needs all the support you can spare. =)

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