Unintentionally Funny, Must-Watch Bollywood Movies: Ishaqzaade
05/14/12
There was another movie that released this past weekend other than this Parineeta Chopra & Arjun Kapoor starrer; the fangasmically named ‘Dangerous Ishhq 3D’ (A movie I hope to review soonly). Among other things, it’s about past lives and rebirth and whatnot. The reason I mention it is that despite all that, Dangerous Ishhq 3D was still only the second most regressive movie of the week.
DOWNLOAD STRIP FOR LATER VIEWING PLEASURE HERE!
Super fucked up wonly!
psst..din this seem like a bad remake of QSQT
last panel PRICELESS!!!!!
It was, still, a pretty nice movie…
Light and hearty…
it was epitome of patheticness
To be fair, it was deception, but not rape.
The movie was WTF through and through, though.
Technically. sex under a false promise or fraud is rape. Just like this movie raped the viewers’ brains!
True dat!
Not really. Technically, sex under false promise comes under deception law not rape whose max punishment is 2-3 years and not 7 years like rape.
This was funny! But I cant wait to read Dangerous Ishq now! Please do that too
Don’t ruin the moment bitch!!
LMAO!!!
Can’t wait for Dangerous Ishq!!!!
Thank you for saving time and money… the poster looked promising!
cant believe such movies are being made…
btw they are holding guns upside down like the brains in storywriters??
Pew pew…rofl
I wasnt going to before but now I wanna watch this
This movie and THIS story actually exist ??? Holyshitbums…
Parma HAM
That is exactly what was going through my brain throughout. Or PARMAsan cheese. Hahaha im funny. NOT.
Don’t forget that in the first item song the ‘ghar ki laadli’ actually performed with the prostitute; to the cheering of bros and abba and hooligan party-men. And when stud-boy Parma harbors her in the brothel, she can’t stand the thought of being brought to a “randi-khaana”. And Parma likes Chand in one scene, abuses her as a ‘chinaal’ when wifey does a gig with Chand, and then again hugs her fondly when they leave the brothel.
Short-term memory loss, everyone around.
dafuq. Is that seriously what happens?
Very Well Written.. This is the most fucked up movie of the Season
falling for ag uy who rapes her under the pretext of marriage ws more than enough … to make it worse, they kill each othr in the end………. heights of IRRESPONSIBLE CINEMA…
DISGUSTING …………..
To be sure, cinema doesn’t owe you any responsibility. We cannot decree that our entertainment also be our moral compass. We Shiv Sena for that.
Fiction does not exist in a bubble. It is informed by the society and vice versa. Does that mean there should be no terrible people doing terrible things in our fiction? No. But it does mean that the filmmakers have the responsibility to frame their narrative as such. You want your movie to be a love story of a rapist and his victim? Fine. But then don’t have a mouthpiece character waxing eloquent about how weak it is for a rape victim to want to murder her rapist and that real bravery would lie in changing him into A Better Man TM. That speech worked towards absolving Parma of all his crimes and it completely invalidated Zoya’s feelings of victimization. The movie framed HER as the coward for not wanting to be with her rapist. Cinema doesn’t owe us any responsibility as long as it owns up to its fucked-upness. This movie didn’t.
Way to kill 19(1)(a).
Listen up you FEMINITARDS, Zoya was NOT RAPED.
DON’T FKING USE “RAPE” CASUALLY. IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME BUT ZOYA GETTING BETRAYED WAS NOT RAPE. She married that *sshole and slept with him CONSENSUALLY.
This whole shit about a woman losing virginity is the commoditization of a women. Where the FK do you see “Do not use if seal is broken” ? On fking groceries!!! Get over it people!!
Oh , great comic Sahil
Listen up you FEMINITARDS, Zoya was NOT RAPED.
DON’T FKING USE “RAPE” CASUALLY. IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME BUT ZOYA GETTING BETRAYED WAS NOT RAPE. She married that *sshole and slept with him CONSENSUALLY.
This whole shit about a woman losing virginity is the commoditization of a women. Where the FK do you see “Do not use if seal is broken” ? On fking groceries!!! Get over it people!!
Oh , great comic Sahil
LOL, was going to watch the movie… not anymore. The promos looked so good, tho…
Goes back to watching the trailer, and wondering how it could be so badly F’ed up >>>>>http://www.thotpad.com/beta/user/thot/86
It isn’t as bad as the review suggests, exaggeration and using the lowest common denominator to denote the entire gamut of meanings is what this comic indulges in, funny as hell though. Just don’t seek morality from your entertainment.
I cannot download your file from 4shared.com
Shit does get old, but the math of indian population making it to theaters and the budget of a movie is such that shit doesnt even dry out.
btw, for some reason when i paste URL of this page on fb status, the title shows up as movie review of rockstar and not ishaqzaade. upon clicking it takes to the right page, but the title displayed is misleading. doesnt happen with links of other reviews on ur site.
“hey remember when you raped me?” hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! genius! I wanna watch this movie now.
Thank you! I wanted to kill the director and everybody in the movie after watching it. This is even better! good work
Just too funny! “What girl wouldn’t fall for the guy who wasn’t man enough to apologize in public, but fif it hidden away, with no witness, in a toilet?” Ahahahaha… Thank you so much for the review! Best comedy ever!
Scripts based in small towns mimicking wild west with Royal Enfields and open top jeeps are the new fad. Even if there is no story and shitload of over acting to go around.
Why is it shown like they are holding the guns upside down? There any dumb scenes like that in the movie?
Both of them keep holding that gun in their hands throughout the frames. For those who haven’t watched the crap movie, I would reiterate that this was very very true. They indeed took out guns at every possible moment whether they were fighting or just kissing !!
As i liked the movie dint find much fun in the movie! its just making fun of the hard work of many people behind the screen and on the screen who were awesome!
Good days of bolly wood have just begun! So if good movies are spared from mockery , that would feel good! Ofcourse the love to hate to love is too rapid which can be mocked at. But rest all is so damn natural in the movie. I loved it!
Love ur site too but loved the movie much more
Arjun kapoor– Want to see him again and PArineeti is simply sizzling! THEY DESERVE APPRAISAL
At least here everyone knows that Sahil WILL mock these movies but the poor audience are taken for granted and mocked even without them knowing it.
I don’t know, yeah. Actresses doing weird crotch-rubbing dances, Chopra channelling Anushka Sharma, Kapoor channelling Abhishekh Bachhan, arbitrary gun violence, a girl who’s half cock but mostly vagina later, emotionally bipolar relationships, and an extremely low bullet-to-splattered brain ratio doesn’t seem all too natural to me.
The movie fails to deal with a plethora of problems it could have, given the context of the love story. But, in the end, it just becomes a pottilicious rape-fest of Romeo & Juliet.
Here’s a scene that STILL has less chances of atrophying your brain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRGTVvOfzjs
I meant DINT FIND MUCH FUN in the review of urs!!!!
like i said to my friends.. it is ‘ishaq-yawn-de’
I was hoping that this movie will be good. But i made a mistake by coming to this website and reading it. You’ve completely ruined the movie for me. Anyways you are brilliant. This comic strip was good and couldn’t stop laughing, especially the last panel.
I hope you do a comic strip on Dangerous Ishq!
SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!!
lol! I hated myself to have chosen to watch this movie, I should have waited for your review,sigh!
Thank you for this review. We want to read your take on Dangerous Ishq please
I was pretty much a straight-face throughout this strip. Ishaqzaade is GOOD. really, go make fun of Dangerous Isshq. don’t forcefully start blasting movies.
The director was waxing eloquent about his movie being hard hitting reality.
I’d much rather prefer the douchebaggery of Veer Zaara to this!
Hahahaha I JUST saw this movie – this comic is hilarious! Though the actors were not bad at all, the story is actually this fucked up! I love that you actually called out the fucked-up-ness! Every other review I read said that this movie was realistic and gritty. Gritty it may be (for a Yash Chopra film) but realistic? Ehh idk about that. Their “love story” was weak when it started in the movie. Lying to a woman to sleep with her is rape, but then it’s all okay in the movie because he “loves” her later on. Honestly though, this wasn’t a completely terrible movie – it just wasn’t politically correct and the characters’ moral compasses were all messed up.
Movies don’t have to be politically correct to be good, neither should the characters have the right kind of moral compass. Take American comedies like Seinfeld, and you realise that the character George Costanza has a really skewed moral compass, yet Seinfeld doesn’t teach you to be like that. Even if you love the character, you walk away from the show KNOWING that Costanza is a real sonovabitch. The point is that everywhere in the world, even if you ‘like’ the asshole, you KNOW he is the asshole, and society is structured in a way that you UNDERSTAND why you cannot be that asshole. Entire genres of music have evolved out of transgressive, provocative and politically incorrect themes, without forcing its audience into rabid anarchic violence and anti-social behaviour. Because, the people have an internal moral compass that knows where to draw the line between enjoying provocative entertainment and reality.
Movies in India fail to do that, because they literally make it seem ‘normal’ to have a moral compass so skewed, it would actually put you in JAIL in real life. Most of the things Akshay Kumar, or many other actors, seems to be doing in films is shit you see their ‘fans’ (devotees, more like) replicating in real life with so much nonchalance. It’s only partially a failure of Bollywood where it makes films knowing Indian society is an evolutionary failure as far as civility and social etiquette go. The other failure is our political, educational, social, religious and economic culture.
This movie is horrible NOT because of some politically incorrect nonsense, it’s bad because it’s horrible story-telling, horrible acting, horrible plot (calling it one is an adventure in itself) and has horrible underlying messages that the movie doesn’t, in some way, inherently negate to let people know: “Look, this is fiction, so don’t let it get to your head.” There is no alternative narrative that questions either of the main protagonists in the movie. So, as far as the ‘good guy’ is breaking enemy bones for the greater good of the villagers, he can be an irresponsible, rowdy, criminal streetfucker.
Most of Indian cinema, in that sense, is immature, reckless and unintelligent.
Don’t agree with the review. Movie was awesome and I loved Zoya’s character.
People should go and watch it to make their independent opinion about it.
Awesome shit (y)
Waiting for Dangerous Ishq 3D =D
It’s stupid. Just utterly stupid, completely Romeo and Juliet without the brains, realistic romance, and even the predictable Bollywood twist! /gasp Could it be that Bollywood is losing its touch and changing?! Into H…Ho…Holl…Holly…Hollyw…Hollywoo…Hollywood?
Just a joke, of course.
Romeo and Juliet didn’t display exemplary wisdom, either. I get tired of people touting that as a love story or a realistic romance. It is ANYTHING but. They were a couple of teenagers who lusted for each other, pulling the implacable families into what turned into a tragedy. The end. I thought exactly the same thing about Ishaqzaade. That they were a bit stupid. Liked the actors, the story, eh, not so much.
But Sahil, man, you’ve done better
the guns were used more like props while dancing in those filthy tracks rather than shooting people (or in this case inability to hit the target every time)…2 hrs of torture frkinly ‘pareshaaned’
This was Aw-fucking-some.. ! Great work whoever did it !!
cant stop TROLING !
i saw this today..i wish i had read ur review before..one of the most shittiest movies ever..even by bollywood standards
Hilarious. Pane 7 should have the word “Unabated” instead of “abated”.
rofl…that last scene!!!
hahahahahahahaahhahhahahahaahahahahah love it
wish I had read this before I wasted my precious 2 hours. :/ I remember I said the same thing after I read the Rockstar review. *facepalm*
Why are the guns pointing down?
it is a nice film
For all those who decide which movie to watch after reading reviews …. at least take the trouble to read quite a few and then decide
. Here are two which see good things in Ishaqzaade. These also happen to be written by individuals who have more social and cinema knowledge than most other reviewers.
http://baradwajrangan.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/ishaqzaade-387553659/
http://satyamshot.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/qalandar-reviews-ishaqzaade-hindi-2012/
Waiting for Cocktail to become a ‘mocktale’ in your hands. Come on, fix this ‘Cocktail’.
I saw “Ek Tha Tiger” last night and all I could think about was how you would rip it apart. I cannot believe that the movie is a hit. Hopefully you put it right were it belongs.
Just watched joker last week and felt like JOKER after coming out of theatre.Shirish Kunder should look out for alternate career option and dont make us sratch our head with more of your movies.
The best part about this fillum was when they blow each other’s flabby tummies out. Sadly, that too was slow and long, painfully long. It’s a pity one had to endure 2 and half hours of bunkum just to get to the best part of the film, it’s END!
That was hilarious. But sir, rape is unconsensual sex. When you use deceptive sex between willing partners and call it rape, it trivializes it for actual victims who went through the horror. But still, effin hilarious!
last 2 panels had me ROFL…… absolutely brilliant….
Listen up you FEMINITARDS, Zoya was NOT RAPED.
DON’T FKING USE “RAPE” CASUALLY. IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME BUT ZOYA GETTING BETRAYED WAS NOT RAPE. She married that *sshole and slept with him CONSENSUALLY.
This whole shit about a woman losing virginity is the commodiztization of a women. Where the FK do you see “Do not use if seal is broken” ? On fking groceries!!! Get over it people!!
Oh , great comic Sahil
I watched the movie after a lot of coaxing as my friend had a minor role in it.
Half the things I thought of while watching, you’ve put down on paper here. Super funny!
[...] away with her and defiles her for revenge and she has nothing but love for him. I will just let Vigil Idiot do the rest of the [...]
Dude!! You are just awesome. Why dont you write a script making spoof of all such movies..:)