Unintentionally Funny, Must-Watch Bollywood Movies: Ishaqzaade

There was another movie that released this past weekend other than this Parineeta Chopra & Arjun Kapoor starrer; the fangasmically named ‘Dangerous Ishhq 3D’ (A movie I hope to review soonly). Among other things, it’s about past lives and rebirth and whatnot. The reason I mention it is that despite all that, Dangerous Ishhq 3D was still only the second most regressive movie of the week.

 

DOWNLOAD STRIP FOR LATER VIEWING PLEASURE HERE!

 

Rating 4.63 out of 5

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77 Responses to “Unintentionally Funny, Must-Watch Bollywood Movies: Ishaqzaade”

  1. Ankur says:

    Super fucked up wonly!

    psst..din this seem like a bad remake of QSQT :P

  2. Scarlett says:

    last panel PRICELESS!!!!!

  3. Hash says:

    It was, still, a pretty nice movie…
    Light and hearty…

  4. harmanjit says:

    To be fair, it was deception, but not rape.

    The movie was WTF through and through, though.

  5. Sonania says:

    This was funny! But I cant wait to read Dangerous Ishq now! Please do that too :)

  6. Shreya says:

    Don’t ruin the moment bitch!!
    LMAO!!!
    Can’t wait for Dangerous Ishq!!!!

  7. Nevermind says:

    Thank you for saving time and money… the poster looked promising!
    cant believe such movies are being made…
    btw they are holding guns upside down like the brains in storywriters??

  8. Lekshmi says:

    Pew pew…rofl
    I wasnt going to before but now I wanna watch this :D

  9. Amod says:

    This movie and THIS story actually exist ??? Holyshitbums…

  10. T says:

    Parma HAM

    • Arushi says:

      That is exactly what was going through my brain throughout. Or PARMAsan cheese. Hahaha im funny. NOT.

  11. Amit Gupta says:

    Don’t forget that in the first item song the ‘ghar ki laadli’ actually performed with the prostitute; to the cheering of bros and abba and hooligan party-men. And when stud-boy Parma harbors her in the brothel, she can’t stand the thought of being brought to a “randi-khaana”. And Parma likes Chand in one scene, abuses her as a ‘chinaal’ when wifey does a gig with Chand, and then again hugs her fondly when they leave the brothel.

    Short-term memory loss, everyone around.

  12. Krati Sharma says:

    Very Well Written.. This is the most fucked up movie of the Season :P

    falling for ag uy who rapes her under the pretext of marriage ws more than enough … to make it worse, they kill each othr in the end………. heights of IRRESPONSIBLE CINEMA…

    DISGUSTING …………..

    • Karan says:

      To be sure, cinema doesn’t owe you any responsibility. We cannot decree that our entertainment also be our moral compass. We Shiv Sena for that.

      • Garima says:

        Fiction does not exist in a bubble. It is informed by the society and vice versa. Does that mean there should be no terrible people doing terrible things in our fiction? No. But it does mean that the filmmakers have the responsibility to frame their narrative as such. You want your movie to be a love story of a rapist and his victim? Fine. But then don’t have a mouthpiece character waxing eloquent about how weak it is for a rape victim to want to murder her rapist and that real bravery would lie in changing him into A Better Man TM. That speech worked towards absolving Parma of all his crimes and it completely invalidated Zoya’s feelings of victimization. The movie framed HER as the coward for not wanting to be with her rapist. Cinema doesn’t owe us any responsibility as long as it owns up to its fucked-upness. This movie didn’t.

        • Arushi says:

          Way to kill 19(1)(a).

          • Politically Incorrect says:

            Listen up you FEMINITARDS, Zoya was NOT RAPED.
            DON’T FKING USE “RAPE” CASUALLY. IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME BUT ZOYA GETTING BETRAYED WAS NOT RAPE. She married that *sshole and slept with him CONSENSUALLY.
            This whole shit about a woman losing virginity is the commoditization of a women. Where the FK do you see “Do not use if seal is broken” ? On fking groceries!!! Get over it people!!

            Oh , great comic Sahil :D

    • Politically Incorrect says:

      Listen up you FEMINITARDS, Zoya was NOT RAPED.
      DON’T FKING USE “RAPE” CASUALLY. IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME BUT ZOYA GETTING BETRAYED WAS NOT RAPE. She married that *sshole and slept with him CONSENSUALLY.
      This whole shit about a woman losing virginity is the commoditization of a women. Where the FK do you see “Do not use if seal is broken” ? On fking groceries!!! Get over it people!!

      Oh , great comic Sahil

  13. prabhas says:

    LOL, was going to watch the movie… not anymore. The promos looked so good, tho…

    Goes back to watching the trailer, and wondering how it could be so badly F’ed up >>>>>http://www.thotpad.com/beta/user/thot/86

    • Karan says:

      It isn’t as bad as the review suggests, exaggeration and using the lowest common denominator to denote the entire gamut of meanings is what this comic indulges in, funny as hell though. Just don’t seek morality from your entertainment.

  14. Jayesh Badwaik says:

    I cannot download your file from 4shared.com

  15. Prakash says:

    Shit does get old, but the math of indian population making it to theaters and the budget of a movie is such that shit doesnt even dry out.

    btw, for some reason when i paste URL of this page on fb status, the title shows up as movie review of rockstar and not ishaqzaade. upon clicking it takes to the right page, but the title displayed is misleading. doesnt happen with links of other reviews on ur site.

  16. Srikz says:

    “hey remember when you raped me?” hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! genius! I wanna watch this movie now.

  17. Prachi says:

    Thank you! I wanted to kill the director and everybody in the movie after watching it. This is even better! good work :)

  18. Rumna says:

    Just too funny! “What girl wouldn’t fall for the guy who wasn’t man enough to apologize in public, but fif it hidden away, with no witness, in a toilet?” Ahahahaha… Thank you so much for the review! Best comedy ever!

  19. Harsh says:

    Scripts based in small towns mimicking wild west with Royal Enfields and open top jeeps are the new fad. Even if there is no story and shitload of over acting to go around.

  20. Surjith says:

    Why is it shown like they are holding the guns upside down? There any dumb scenes like that in the movie?

  21. Ankit says:

    Both of them keep holding that gun in their hands throughout the frames. For those who haven’t watched the crap movie, I would reiterate that this was very very true. They indeed took out guns at every possible moment whether they were fighting or just kissing !! :D :D

  22. Afshan says:

    As i liked the movie dint find much fun in the movie! its just making fun of the hard work of many people behind the screen and on the screen who were awesome!

    Good days of bolly wood have just begun! So if good movies are spared from mockery , that would feel good! Ofcourse the love to hate to love is too rapid which can be mocked at. But rest all is so damn natural in the movie. I loved it!

    Love ur site too but loved the movie much more
    Arjun kapoor– Want to see him again and PArineeti is simply sizzling! THEY DESERVE APPRAISAL

    • Rahul says:

      At least here everyone knows that Sahil WILL mock these movies but the poor audience are taken for granted and mocked even without them knowing it.

    • PB-SHA says:

      I don’t know, yeah. Actresses doing weird crotch-rubbing dances, Chopra channelling Anushka Sharma, Kapoor channelling Abhishekh Bachhan, arbitrary gun violence, a girl who’s half cock but mostly vagina later, emotionally bipolar relationships, and an extremely low bullet-to-splattered brain ratio doesn’t seem all too natural to me.

      The movie fails to deal with a plethora of problems it could have, given the context of the love story. But, in the end, it just becomes a pottilicious rape-fest of Romeo & Juliet.

      Here’s a scene that STILL has less chances of atrophying your brain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRGTVvOfzjs

  23. Afshan says:

    I meant DINT FIND MUCH FUN in the review of urs!!!!

  24. Vipul says:

    like i said to my friends.. it is ‘ishaq-yawn-de’

  25. Sunny says:

    I was hoping that this movie will be good. But i made a mistake by coming to this website and reading it. You’ve completely ruined the movie for me. Anyways you are brilliant. This comic strip was good and couldn’t stop laughing, especially the last panel.
    I hope you do a comic strip on Dangerous Ishq!

  26. Singh says:

    SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!!

  27. Scribby says:

    lol! I hated myself to have chosen to watch this movie, I should have waited for your review,sigh!

  28. eliza bennet says:

    Thank you for this review. We want to read your take on Dangerous Ishq please :)

  29. Sumegha says:

    I was pretty much a straight-face throughout this strip. Ishaqzaade is GOOD. really, go make fun of Dangerous Isshq. don’t forcefully start blasting movies.

  30. Abdaal says:

    The director was waxing eloquent about his movie being hard hitting reality.

    I’d much rather prefer the douchebaggery of Veer Zaara to this!

  31. Maitri says:

    Hahahaha I JUST saw this movie – this comic is hilarious! Though the actors were not bad at all, the story is actually this fucked up! I love that you actually called out the fucked-up-ness! Every other review I read said that this movie was realistic and gritty. Gritty it may be (for a Yash Chopra film) but realistic? Ehh idk about that. Their “love story” was weak when it started in the movie. Lying to a woman to sleep with her is rape, but then it’s all okay in the movie because he “loves” her later on. Honestly though, this wasn’t a completely terrible movie – it just wasn’t politically correct and the characters’ moral compasses were all messed up.

    • SHA-PB says:

      Movies don’t have to be politically correct to be good, neither should the characters have the right kind of moral compass. Take American comedies like Seinfeld, and you realise that the character George Costanza has a really skewed moral compass, yet Seinfeld doesn’t teach you to be like that. Even if you love the character, you walk away from the show KNOWING that Costanza is a real sonovabitch. The point is that everywhere in the world, even if you ‘like’ the asshole, you KNOW he is the asshole, and society is structured in a way that you UNDERSTAND why you cannot be that asshole. Entire genres of music have evolved out of transgressive, provocative and politically incorrect themes, without forcing its audience into rabid anarchic violence and anti-social behaviour. Because, the people have an internal moral compass that knows where to draw the line between enjoying provocative entertainment and reality.

      Movies in India fail to do that, because they literally make it seem ‘normal’ to have a moral compass so skewed, it would actually put you in JAIL in real life. Most of the things Akshay Kumar, or many other actors, seems to be doing in films is shit you see their ‘fans’ (devotees, more like) replicating in real life with so much nonchalance. It’s only partially a failure of Bollywood where it makes films knowing Indian society is an evolutionary failure as far as civility and social etiquette go. The other failure is our political, educational, social, religious and economic culture.

      This movie is horrible NOT because of some politically incorrect nonsense, it’s bad because it’s horrible story-telling, horrible acting, horrible plot (calling it one is an adventure in itself) and has horrible underlying messages that the movie doesn’t, in some way, inherently negate to let people know: “Look, this is fiction, so don’t let it get to your head.” There is no alternative narrative that questions either of the main protagonists in the movie. So, as far as the ‘good guy’ is breaking enemy bones for the greater good of the villagers, he can be an irresponsible, rowdy, criminal streetfucker.

      Most of Indian cinema, in that sense, is immature, reckless and unintelligent.

  32. ATM says:

    Don’t agree with the review. Movie was awesome and I loved Zoya’s character.
    People should go and watch it to make their independent opinion about it.

  33. Sampada says:

    Awesome shit (y)
    Waiting for Dangerous Ishq 3D =D

  34. Well... says:

    It’s stupid. Just utterly stupid, completely Romeo and Juliet without the brains, realistic romance, and even the predictable Bollywood twist! /gasp Could it be that Bollywood is losing its touch and changing?! Into H…Ho…Holl…Holly…Hollyw…Hollywoo…Hollywood? :D Just a joke, of course.

    • Hmm... says:

      Romeo and Juliet didn’t display exemplary wisdom, either. I get tired of people touting that as a love story or a realistic romance. It is ANYTHING but. They were a couple of teenagers who lusted for each other, pulling the implacable families into what turned into a tragedy. The end. I thought exactly the same thing about Ishaqzaade. That they were a bit stupid. Liked the actors, the story, eh, not so much.
      But Sahil, man, you’ve done better :|

  35. Pritha says:

    the guns were used more like props while dancing in those filthy tracks rather than shooting people (or in this case inability to hit the target every time)…2 hrs of torture frkinly ‘pareshaaned’

  36. Ankit says:

    This was Aw-fucking-some.. ! Great work whoever did it !! :D
    cant stop TROLING ! :P

  37. sameer says:

    i saw this today..i wish i had read ur review before..one of the most shittiest movies ever..even by bollywood standards

  38. Nikhil says:

    Hilarious. Pane 7 should have the word “Unabated” instead of “abated”.

  39. addsmiles says:

    rofl…that last scene!!!

  40. sadaf says:

    hahahahahahahaahhahhahahahaahahahahah love it

  41. Lady_not_Gaga says:

    wish I had read this before I wasted my precious 2 hours. :/ I remember I said the same thing after I read the Rockstar review. *facepalm*

  42. rishi says:

    Why are the guns pointing down?

  43. sameer says:

    it is a nice film

  44. Himmat Singh says:

    For all those who decide which movie to watch after reading reviews …. at least take the trouble to read quite a few and then decide :). Here are two which see good things in Ishaqzaade. These also happen to be written by individuals who have more social and cinema knowledge than most other reviewers.

    http://baradwajrangan.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/ishaqzaade-387553659/

    http://satyamshot.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/qalandar-reviews-ishaqzaade-hindi-2012/

  45. Nisha says:

    Waiting for Cocktail to become a ‘mocktale’ in your hands. Come on, fix this ‘Cocktail’.

  46. AT says:

    I saw “Ek Tha Tiger” last night and all I could think about was how you would rip it apart. I cannot believe that the movie is a hit. Hopefully you put it right were it belongs.

  47. Just watched joker last week and felt like JOKER after coming out of theatre.Shirish Kunder should look out for alternate career option and dont make us sratch our head with more of your movies.

  48. The best part about this fillum was when they blow each other’s flabby tummies out. Sadly, that too was slow and long, painfully long. It’s a pity one had to endure 2 and half hours of bunkum just to get to the best part of the film, it’s END!

  49. RD says:

    That was hilarious. But sir, rape is unconsensual sex. When you use deceptive sex between willing partners and call it rape, it trivializes it for actual victims who went through the horror. But still, effin hilarious!

  50. Shaktie says:

    last 2 panels had me ROFL…… absolutely brilliant….

  51. Politically Incorrect says:

    Listen up you FEMINITARDS, Zoya was NOT RAPED.
    DON’T FKING USE “RAPE” CASUALLY. IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME BUT ZOYA GETTING BETRAYED WAS NOT RAPE. She married that *sshole and slept with him CONSENSUALLY.
    This whole shit about a woman losing virginity is the commodiztization of a women. Where the FK do you see “Do not use if seal is broken” ? On fking groceries!!! Get over it people!!

    Oh , great comic Sahil :D

  52. Still Laughing says:

    I watched the movie after a lot of coaxing as my friend had a minor role in it.
    Half the things I thought of while watching, you’ve put down on paper here. Super funny!

  53. [...] away with her and defiles her for revenge and she has nothing but love for him. I will just let Vigil Idiot do the rest of the [...]

  54. Nitesh says:

    Dude!! You are just awesome. Why dont you write a script making spoof of all such movies..:)

  55. Shashwat says:

    i love the way the guns are always pointing downwards,and still shooting pee-drops!
    and the last picture is just epic.
    brilliant work!!

  56. [...] to easily misled masses looking to cinema for role models is an absolute disgrace. Here’s a graphic description of the [...]

  57. Salman says:

    He: Muslim!!!
    She: Hindu!!!!!

    Epic. LOL..

  58. aakash says:

    He: muslim
    She: hindu But: blood r same means red in color…so no one is hindu n muslims all r bhai bhai..get it

  59. Shruti says:

    That scene when the mom tells her to change Parma a aargh that was exActky what I said in the theatre ‘bitch did you not hear what she said?’ And seething fury transforms in to loving bathing without any reason in like 2 minutes!! But the last line was epic – don’t ruin the moment bitch!! Lol
    Also like the man who stretches our zanjeer hero’s face was here too! Parma looked doped in 80% scenes which could mean he is angry passionate or pensive or he had a pasted grin which meant happy .. So that’s it ex obese and king of flop producer’s son has arrived!!

  60. Funduhmentalist says:

    Vigil Idiot, I am late to get on the bandwagon but I am devouring them all in a hasty single gulp. Also, I want to make a baby with you. My looks, my brains but your sense of humour.

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