Unintentionally Funny, Must-Watch Hollywood Movies: Avatar

Alright, before we get into this, I would like to state on the record that when I say ‘Avatar’ is a “must-watch” movie, I mean it in the sincerest, least sarcastic & Vigil Idioty sense of the term. In all honesty, if you haven’t seen this movie in 3D, you’ve missed out on something really special.

Having said that, while the movie does offer a ginormously awesome visual spectacle, the story isn’t exactly what you’d call 300 million dollars worthy. Yes, that statement has been sugar-coated to levels I thought were beyond me.


Rating 4.65 out of 5

Tags: , , , , , ,

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • RSS

152 Responses to “Unintentionally Funny, Must-Watch Hollywood Movies: Avatar”

  1. paritosh says:

    ROFL!!! “WHT THE FUCK BITCHES!!” =)))))))))))

  2. Anjaney says:

    Brilliant stuff.

    Eagerly waiting for a Sahil Rizwan review of 3 Idiots. 😀

  3. Kanksha says:

    You forgot to mention those thingies in their hair that allow them to connect to all animals and plants even, referred to as ‘USB Cords’ by some genius kids in the same hall as me. :rotfl:

  4. blueberry32 says:

    lol@’wtf bitches!’

  5. SiD says:

    Ha ha ha… super ossum bro.. wtf bitch…:P

  6. Anil Kalvani says:

    wtf bitches? hehehehehehe man u’re fing awesome dude… man seriously, u’re suppa talented…. following u on twitter too, somehow msgs don’t reach u, handle @anilkalvani… totally original lmao…

  7. Raouf says:

    Brilliant. 😀

    You glossed over some of the less flattering points like the “I didn’t sign up for this shit” , but the essence has been admirably captured in WTF Bitches 😀

  8. Aditya says:

    Good Review dude… quite funny n comic … 🙂


    One thing that we can learn from this movie is to SAVE our environment and Earth from Global Warming, which according to me was the basic theme on which the movie was based.

  9. Do they actually show aliens having sex with human-in-an-alien-suit? Do they? Do they??

    I mean that compensates for everything!

  10. Saba says:

    Sahil, this MADE my day. That last panel…genius!

  11. Harith says:

    Although your hilarious take on the movie is funny, you got some facts wrong. Since you were being so pedantic about the plot, I would like to tell you some things

    “Faster than light” was not a mastered technology by 2154. It takes them over 5 years to reach Pandora.

    The point of creating these ‘Avatar’s is to make the mining on Pandora easy since the air is toxic to humans.

    Read http://pandorapedia.com for more information.

    • Sahil Rizwan says:

      Hehe, well the site I referred to (http://www.futurevigil.com/?p=640) says that Pandora is 4.37 light years away from Earth. If they cross that in 5 years, that’s not much lesser than light speed, is it? o_O

      Also, it doesn’t make much sense to spend so much research, technology & money just to create miners, does it? Especially when they can just as well create robot diggers… Much cheaper! Or maybe just make do with oxygen tanks. =p

      Hehe, your concern is valid Harith. But I do my research! =)

    • Bigger Pedant says:

      “Although your hilarious take on the movie is funny” – kinda redundant, don’t you think?

  12. Bishan says:


    hillarious work….
    keep it up & cheers…

    wtf bitches…..lolz…………

  13. Scribbler says:

    ha ha ah ah ha hahahaaha …. “why exactly do we need these multi – million dollar avatar bodies then” …..and then …. lmao….

    well.. I would also like to mention that the gentlemen sitting behind me in the hall thought the “lights” (if I am to quote them…) on the trees and everywhere were “Made in China” stuff having batteries that last 3 hours… with no guarantee… 😛 😛

  14. aarkayne says:

    lol…super funny as usual…..totally loved the line on “…..evolutionary fail…” keeping them to bows & arrows in the 21st century….

    visually spectacular, this movie needed to spend about 1/100th of the budget on script/plot development !

  15. Aditya/@TaiyouSun says:

    LoL! WTF! People really overlooked Jadoo!

  16. shrikala says:

    I am saving a lot of money( in this case. itchy eyes too. with those uncomfortable 3d glasses you have to wear )

  17. Saad Akhtar says:

    How is it possible that these people plug in their chotti with every other animal on the planet and are still existing after all these years. I mean, along comes one virus and BAM! No more 9 foot smurfs.

    And its dirty… fuck me, but I would never interface biologically with a horse or even a Turok. That part is just wrong.

    And I’m going on record here to say this: “Japan, I would be very dissapointed in you if we don’t have Naa’vi porn in 3 months”

  18. aamir khan says:

    i just cant stop laughing what a review you should be getting a millions for this kinda stuff

  19. ROFLMFAO!!

    Amazing review. Apart from everything else, come to think of it… a Synthetic Na’vi can have two lives and thus two wives but can sleep with neither 😛

  20. @richatweets says:

    i think for the first time i overlooked the logical loopholes in a movie! all of the ones in your post made me go ‘ Oh yeaaaaaaaaa” .
    But seriously, why the hell did those stupid americans not just send unmanned bomber planes?! if they can do tht in afghanistan, y not pandora?! super logicalfailure!

    But i have to give you props for dissing THIS movie man, going against what i think is the entire world’s opinion!And not one comment saying ” Sahir rizwan u suck for dissing avtaar it was teh singlemostgreatestmovieever “and some such shit.
    Youtruly “are the man”

    P.S : i was looking for an allusion to the “jar head clan” thing, and also .Grace! her last 2 mins in the movie were awesome man! + kickass blue makeup!

    • VDV says:

      US Marines are called (call themselves) “Jarheads”. That is where you get the reference from. There was also a movie called Jarheads about US marines.

  21. moha297 says:

    This is kick ass…I could not get tickets, but reading this I dont wanna go to theatre anymore. James cameron and me dont gell… I could never get tickets for titanic, so lost interest. Then saw the movie a lot later on tv 😛
    I smell the same fate for avtaar.

    And the jadooo line…wtf bitches!! KickAss!

  22. WSW says:

    Lurved the last panel and the evolutionary fail. Total kick ass!!

  23. Sahil Rizwan says:

    WOW! I dunno whether to defend myself or run home and hug my mum. =p

    Hehe! You know, if you had given a valid e-mail ID, I’d take on every point you made para-by-para to explain my stand and why you are mostly wrong. But on this here public forum, I’d just like to applaud you for the effort you’ve taken to think over & type out that comment… for measly ol’ me, that too. You, Ma’am, are a legend! =)

    • Sahil Rizwan says:

      Yep. You’re right. No point. To each his own and all that, right? I’m glad you liked the movie. Peace out. =)

    • Srikant says:

      “Purpose of movies like Avatar is to to stretch the limits of our imagination and to allow us to enjoy the beauty of pure creativity.”
      What imagination and creativity are you blabbering about? There are better ways to be creative than rehash cliched stories/characters and put it in a CGI soup spending millions of dollars to make a lousy film. If the Navi were to be replaced by any of the tribes on Earth of even today, it would not have made an iota of difference to the themes explored. Pandora and therefore all the facial expression or whatever movie making technology one gives this movie credit for as pioneering is redundant. The purpose of any art really is to tell a story. Not to put fluff, enough of it, to cover an old one. As for imagination. On a planet 5 light years away there are humanoids – just blue and large. All animals are just-about-dogs, just-about-panthers, just-about-rhinos, just-about-monkeys and what not. Avatar is bloated and unoriginal. Am entitled to my opinion. If you don’t like it, I have more. If the message is to spread environmental awareness (as it is being made out to be) it could be done a lot better with less money and less hype and the millions could have had more impact if they were directed, literally, elsewhere.

  24. Saad Akhtar says:

    I for one can’t understand why the aliens are so flat chested……

    Otherwise, all your points are valid.

  25. beenu says:

    i love you man !
    i really do 😀

  26. Pradyut says:

    no offence to the bitch (pun intended), but couldn’t figure what was funnier, the comic or the comment!

    sahil, dude, you are a star! looking forward to more!

  27. RNair says:

    Oh my god. I think you made Jaado more entertaining with that one frame than anything Rakesh Roshan could have done…

  28. Sahil Rizwan says:

    Hehe, thank you one & all! The comments & support against the *really* serious cinema lovers is much appreciated! =D

  29. Nashnir says:

    Pandora is a Moon >.>

  30. Sudha Nagaraj says:

    Hi Sahil,
    I am so delighted that I read nothing about the movie before I saw it today and read your review first thing after getting back!!
    I really think Cameroon has just put all the so-called success formulae of movies together —aliens, jurassic park like creatures, magical effect lights, fluoroscent colours etc from Harry Potter and the like, some mumbo jumbo, war-lords, body paint, monstrous metallic objects from Terminator and similar movies together and oh, some wailing background music so typical of Indian movies — together, to give us this. I am not sure if even the kids who are so used to playing avatars on playstations will swallow this stuff. The audience was not very expressive in the hall….

  31. Tania says:

    Really really orginal script – however this movie was paisa vasool. I didnt want to read this post till I had watched the movie, and now that I have done both – i’m like ‘WTF Bitches’!

  32. GauravG says:

    Really funny shee-yat man! Just got introed to your site a coupla days back, and have been addicted since. BTW, noticed you’ve made it to the newspapers…Congrats!

  33. VDV says:

    “Bitchy Bitch” makes good points. That said, I did find the write and the strips hilarious :). Good job both!

  34. theevilp says:

    The film caused a headache that persists till today. I tried, really tried to love the film,give myself reasons to like it, say LOTR on Acid or so on and so forth.

    But it pains me that Mr. Cameron spent 14 years of his life in producing this pile of poo.

    If you had to showcase technology, I am still wondering why not 3D porn?

    That said, I firmly bow towards the ‘Bitchy Bitch’ comment. Everyone should get her a drink.

    • theevilp says:

      Geez, she says those as if that’s a bad thing!

      (Leaving a #GrammarGandu bait in that)

      • theevilp says:

        Sweetheart, I AM doing things more important than confusing the commercial success of a film with it being good. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen grossed $832,076,689 at the box office. That doesn’t make it NOT a pile of shit. All the Harry Potter films are there. And there ain’t no, say Clint Eastwood film in there. That means what?

        Exactly. Nothing.

        If someone has to sit and explain the simple concept of how the number of people seeing a film is in no way related to whether it is a pile of shit or not, perhaps you are the one who should be getting a rethink. Oh wait. That would mean actually seeing films, now, wouldn’t it?

        Tch. Too much to ask.

        http://www.imdb.com/boxoffice/alltimegross?region=world-wide is the list for you to jump in. Stay there.

        And yes, I firmly believe that the world is full of shit and most people are shit heads.

      • theevilp says:

        I have nothing against what you say. Notice my first comment saying, I bow before your comment. All the points you bring about are good and true. They do not however, make for a good film. Just like Paa! Amitabh Bachhan played an excellent character. A lot of hardwork went into it. Balki created the 10 second ad clip for a film to play between cricket on television! All of it, great, and brilliant! However, that does NOT make a good film.

        I hated Avatar. It did cause me a headache. And in my opinion, spending 5 years to make a Gulaal is a much better deal, coz at the end of it, it is something that comes out of the soul, that is at least true.

        What Cameron has just done is prove that there is a reason why geeks shall never rule the world. They can dazzle, but rule they never shall. Coz they just do not get it.

        (I say all of this because of the list you dug up. Apparently, you DO know what is good cinema. So I have nothing more to say, your first line says it all – popularity of a product proves nothing)

        I do keep you poor evolutionary failures updated.

        I have two blogs,


        and a much more recent one


      • Ruchira says:

        Watching avatar was fun, if one kept one’s mind at home, and dove fully into the psychedelic visuals Cameron has so generously served us. Sahil Rizwan, you are a guy after my own heart, for all the, you know, funny stuff you conjure up. Side-splitting really. Which brings me to the “dahling” of the evening, Miss Bitchy bitch, a dame obviously lacking in a very crucial sense of humour to understand what Sahil’s posts are about.
        Bitchy bitch, why try so hard to live up to a name, that really has nothing to do you or the likes of you? It’s meant for smart sassy women who are not currently bemoaning their actionless sex lives. When poor Sahil did his gentlemanly best to throw you off, the evil pee brings you back with a vengeance wholely unbecoming to the point he is trying so hard to make. I get that you are two individuals trying to pass yourselves off as intellectuals when, in reality, neither of you has a genuine point, not por favor or against the movie. If both of you need to get off as is apparent you so badly want to do, why not give the rest of us a break from the scarring visuals and get a room?
        Having said this, I agree this is a public forum to which the two of you have made your invaluable POVs apparent in your first posts each, which are honest and valid. (Not being sarcastic) Thereafter the rest of the drivel, which doesn’t have a single point that hasn’t already been covered, serves only to dilute the aforementioned points of view and finally veering so completely off-topic that one has to pause to wonder why these people are so desperate for attention. Evil pee, I understand that you have a very significant need for followers and adulation and that sort of thing, but I feel compelled to mention that this is shameless. And dear Bitchy bitch, you do remind me so much of that old woman from Drag me to Hell, only creepier.

      • Perakath says:

        “Fuck off, you kabab me haddi!”

        Haha! Bitchy, I wish I knew you.

  35. Vishal says:

    @Bitchy…. Nice comments…

    @Sahil…. Dude u still rock…… :D:D… “WTF Bitches” hilarios….

  36. Vivek says:

    Good stuff! Heard a lot about your blog and well this was something wasn’t it?

    A few things here – the story was not great. After all, it was based more on Native Americans than anything else. Like with the other luminary of the sci-fi genre, Star Wars is based a lot on Samurais. So there – Hollywood is being all inclusive 😀

    An apt summary “Avatar was just the platform to showcase the technology”

    Surprised you didnt mention the hair. It looked like a three point pin 😀 plugs in everywhere…

    a few more along the same lines…
    what do you call a well hung na’vi male?
    extension cord
    the protection na’vi use are spike guards.


  37. Warikoo says:

    Uff….too much only…! I suggest you approach Cameron with this comic strip and ask him to make it part of the marketing collateral for the movie. He will gladly pick it up…and spend another million to make the navi blue just the right color!

    3 Idiots please now…! 🙂

  38. Sahil Rizwan says:

    Haha.. This has got to be the single-most entertaining comment board on the site. You guys’re awesome! =D

    • jkd says:

      ;-D Tell me abt it!!!!!!!! Am doubling up laffing at the comments…! ;-p Ek comic ke saath comments free! 😉 Good job as usual, Riz-man!

  39. scumbag says:

    Rizwan you rock dude! I’m bloody addicted to your comics. Being in phoren, I don’t get to see trashy bollywood as often as way back. These comics fill in the resulting hilarity deficit.

    First time I wandered into the comments section, and it wowed me! Funnier and more violent than Japanese porn even. I’m a total fan of bitchy bitch and evil pee for their mindbending tenacity and idiotic comments. Still their discussion of film, shit and their role in one’s life set me thinking of this little known Korean gem “Achi-wa Ssipak” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0972542

    For the lazy here is a description of that movie by a user on imdb:
    “In the future, humans have learnt how to harness human waste to become rich sources of energy. As a result, the government encourages everyone to defecate and collect their waste to power our world. To reward its population, those who defecate are given juicybars as rewards when they do their business at designated collection points. However, these juicybars (they look so phallic when being sucked upon) are addictive, and here you have a black market churned from obtaining and selling these bars. With gangs, one of the most notorious ones called The Diaper Gang, come forth to wreck havoc on the populace, and with the authorities not going to sit back and do nothing, they unleash their cyborg policeman Geko to take them down, violently.

    And all these happen in the first 5 minutes”.

    All this leads me to my lifelong dream (or your future nightmare?) of making a movie. With the look inspired from Cameron’s Avatar and the plot inspired from Aachi and Ssipak and the comment war above, I have decided to call my magnificient venture “Pudin”. All my characters will have GREEN (Pudin Hara geddit!) body paint, and will need pudin hara to take a dump. And droppin dooces will be the point of their entire existence (…and my movie). The tagline will be like “PUDIN: the proof is in the shittin (“the proof of the pudding is in the eating” is the original proverb; for those of you who weren’t molested by catholic priests as part of your convent education)

  40. Iswarya says:

    Dude you’re simply awesome. I was ROFLing, esp at the Jadoo bit. Thanks to you, the scales have fallen from my eyes 😛

  41. mel says:

    wow that was great 🙂 and Jadoo lol 😀

  42. Aditya says:

    This review has disappointed me!

    Generally i like your revies but this! i didn’t expect from you !

    is it that you have written this just for the sake of writing it as it was such a highly anticipated movie?

    I agree with what Bitchy Bitch has said and also the Koi Mil Gaya thing at the end was kind of cheap as it was a cheap ripoff of the alien from ET !

    and i would like the underline the point once again that it wasn’t Earth vs Pandora !

    and regarding the bows and arrows of the na’vi i would like to say one thing : In the millions of year’s of existence of planet earth go back around 10,000 years and we would be at the same situation as the na’vi

    and the theme about human greed was awesome

    I challenge you to make a review strip from the top 50 in IMDb to make it remotely funny so that atleast your fanboys would be justified a little bit in going ga-ga over the review !

    and I seriously can’t believe so many people agree with you on the review!!
    what is happening to this world!!

    to everyone who saw this movie in 3D see it in 2D so that you can concentrate on the story for once and understand the deeper meaning of the movie!

  43. abhijeet says:

    agreed with aditya…….

  44. Sahil Rizwan says:

    Jesus! You stay away from the comp for a week and you’re bombarded with fanboy hate mail like the humans did to the Na’vis. Oh wait… The humans never bombed the Na’vis. XD

    What do you want me to say, guys? I loved the movie just as much as anyone. The logic of it all was still sucky to me. =\

  45. Luis says:

    Bows and arrows are not evolutionary failures. A city like Las Vegas, on the other hand, is.

  46. Gadam says:

    The panels with no speech bubbles r the best!!!

    killer blank faces!

  47. Kumar says:

    cmon give d guy a break.. brilliant review man.. kept me in splits throughout.. bt it ws 2 short, der wer so many more thngs u cud’ve put in..

    yes the bitch makes some good points, but if you want a review that is sensitive to the feelings and hard work of the filmmaker, you’ve obv got d wrong site..

    aditya, wt is wrong with the world is, it has a sense of humour.. deeper meaning? come on.. hero goes as a spy but falls in love and sees the light and saves saintly, environment loving aliens’ planet from the singularly evil, greedy corporations while managing 2 seduce the alien chief’s daughter.. OOOOOO…

    of course it was fun 2 watch, hats off 2 d graphics n aliens’ world n all, sahil has said as much in his intro para.. tht doesnt mean u cant hav a gd laugh abt it..

  48. Laughing Buddha says:

    Dude…you cartoon strip was an epic…the comments are even ‘epic-er’ and in 3D too

  49. Sahil Rizwan says:

    Thanks people! I’m surprised that more people’ve agreed that Avatar was more fun-make-worthy than 3 Idiots. Almost feel a little sad and guilty now, because I actually did love Avatar. =\

    Hehe, guess you never can really account for public taste. Go figure. =p Thanks for the comments, peoplefolk! Keep reading! =D

  50. ~uh~™ says:

    The wheelchair should have been little advanced, like atleast battery operated. Also they should have made the site office of Pandora a ‘No smoking one’.
    Coming to think of it Avatar is a just the story of Ramayan: the epic tale of good vs evil told in a little bit distorted and funny way. If noticed carefully we will find Ram, Sita, Ravana, Jatayu, the monkey army and all the relevant characters in one form or the other.
    Nice work and more entertaining comment section.

  51. 1ZNimisha says:

    YOu know, in case you’ve played CONTRA, the movie totally reminded me of the last stage!!

  52. Pranav says:

    Wow ruchira, Bitchy Bitch and theevilp your comments truly made my day… better than the movie anyways. Keep all of us lesser mortals enlightened with your sassy divine nonsense.

  53. Sahil Rizwan says:

    Hahaha! Seriously! People should just skip the comic and jump straight into the comments section! Much more entertaining! XD

  54. Vinay says:

    Excellent spoof Sahil. I completely failed to like the movie for most of the reasons you’ve picked on in your strip. Even more admirable since you say you loved it. I would of course still say everyone should watch it for the visual spectacle of it, but my recommended strategy is “go in, watch for the first hour, sleep for an hour, and watch the rest”, since that way you get to enjoy the visuals, get a rest from the irritating glasses, and then see the spectacular (ly stupid?) battle scene, and what happens in between is boring and eminently guessable.

  55. Rimin Dutt says:


  56. Moony says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG! this is tooo goood! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! LOVE the ending! LOL! **thumbs up** :)-

  57. Kiran says:

    WTF bithes…….!! lolz

    btw, gr8 work bro!!

  58. Clint says:

    Awesome synopsis, Hahaaa!!

  59. richa says:

    i sewar to god , the posts made me laugh more than ur own creativity, Sahil .. U shud be in advertising or something .. X0X0

  60. KounterStrike says:

    I love ur comics Sahil!!!
    I have bookmarked em!!!
    And I plan to return to them day and again.
    Keep up the good work!!! 😉

  61. KounterStrike says:

    I forgot to Thank U, coz just wen life was getting mundane and boring in this godforsaken phoren country, I came across ur comics and they really made my day with all the dissing and bitching.
    And I loved “The War of the Words” between Miss Bitchy Bitch (The next Erin Brockovich) and TheEvilPee (The Evil Corporate Giant)!!!
    No offense intended 🙂

  62. Before I begin on this review of your review, I should make clear two things: first, that I have not watched Avatar but have read reviews and online discussions of the movie and have listened to people who have watched it; and, second, I am not a James Cameron fan – I consider Titanic one of the worse films I’ve watched, certainly not the material to win an Oscar, let alone 11.

    Therefore, when I review your review, I’m doing it from an Avatar-sceptical viewpoint.

    But: when I (who was given this link by a friend who liked Avatar and felt guilty and foolish about liking it after reading your effort) clicked on this link, I was immediately struck by the obvious fact that your review isn’t really a review at all; it’s an attempt to make fun of the film (or rather episodes of the film) only to prove to your fan club how clever you are, and to gather the accolades you’re accustomed to. (No, I’ve not visited any other review of yours and I don’t intend to; this one was quite enough for me, thank you very much.) This works for Mad Magazine because there, it’s openly a parody, not a review; it does not work for you.

    Keeping in mind that my knowledge of the film is all at second hand, I’ll echo Ms Bitchy Bitch on several points:

    1. The alleged “evolutionary fail” (sic, the grammar made me wince, but obviously your fan club isn’t too particular about using either grammar or correct English spellings) of bows and arrows in the 22nd century. Obviously, to anyone with half a brain, just because humans have progressed to nuclear weapons doesn’t mean anyone else can’t still use bows and arrows, and today there are plenty of cultures right here on Earth (the Sentinelese for instance) who still use bows and arrows. They are evolutionarily exactly at the same level as an American Marine Corps officer with a machine gun firing at Iraqi civilians. So, what’s your point?

    I should mention that a confusion of technology, particularly military technology, with evolution is a major and very basic error, and one which has been used in the past to justify the massacre of many “inferior” peoples, many of whom were far more civilised and culturally advanced than the militarily more advanced people doing the massacring.

    Apart from that, there is the little point that a bow-and-arrow culture is closer to nature and more likely than not to live in a sustainable ecosystem; the more technological a society, the more polluting, the more destructive, and ultimately the more self-destructive it is. So, when you talk about evolution, a bow-and-arrow culture is evolutionarily more sensible and has greater survival value.

    2. Projectile-firing weapons (guns, in other words) have been around for some hundred years, with only accuracy and speed of delivery of ordnance increasing. Muzzle-loading matchlocks have given way to general-purpose machine guns and sniper rifles. But they are all projectile firing weapons, and at this time there is no way they can be predicted to be obsolete in a few hundred years. If you imagine that laser weaponry can do the trick, no; the inverse square law will teach you that lasers, especially in an atmosphere, aren’t very useful weapons except at ultra-close ranges.

    3. Missiles weren’t used to bomb the Na’vis (assuming they were available; you don’t take all the weaponry you need everywhere you go, especially over parsecs of space travel where every kilogram translates into extra energy expenditure) because of two reasons: first, the fact that destroying the entire place with missiles would be a public-relations disaster; and second, because if you irradiate the area with nuclear fallout from ground bursts, you’ll complicate your own usage of the site for some time to come and increase your costs, thereby decreasing your profits. (I’d include a third possibility: that the Na’vis were to be used as locally available cheap forced labour – slaves – to do the mining. Why not? The Europeans used Native Americans as slaves in their plantations and mines and only began importing Africans when the Native Americans died in such numbers that not enough were available.)

    Using robots to mine isn’t all that clever; robots need energy sources which may not be locally available; they need repair services (the more technically advanced something is, the more likely it is to break down) and are far less flexible than thinking creatures.

    4. You seem to think that the use of a name like “unobtainium” is a case of failure of the imagination. Ever heard of dry humour of the kind that mocks itself? No?

    5. Humanoids; (aside to Ms Bitch – I am an atheist and I do not think humans are the ultimate in evolution; we are an accident of genetic chance, no more) well, to get back to the point, why were the Na’vis depicted as humanoids? The fact is that Cameron was making a movie to make money and win awards, and you can’t do that without the American market. Americans aren’t Europeans. Their movie audiences are neither sophisticated nor particularly intelligent, believing as the majority of them do that evolution never happened for instance. To the simple and relatively primitive American audience, cute and cuddly equals good and ugly equals evil. Also, Americans, unlike Europeans, can’t comprehend symbolism unless beaten over the head with it. With Europeans you might be able to depict intelligent bears or deer, but all an American audience would think would be of hunting season. Hence, unless you make things as obvious as possible (cute humanoid alien species that has to interface physically with its environment) the American audience simply will not be able to understand what it is you’re trying to say. (Not that Indian audiences are much better, going by your fan club.)

    In one of his books, Carl Sagan noted that when the original Star Trek was being made, the studio bosses objected to Mr Spock’s pointy ears and arched eyebrows because they thought it made him “too different” from humans to appeal to an American audience. If anything, the US has regressed over the past forty years into religious fundamentalism and illogical thinking, so even making the Na’vis three metres tall and blue was a courageous step by Cameron.

    6. The denouement. Again, Cameron was trying to make money. How many downbeat films do you think make money? George Monbiot made the point in an essay on the film (see here: http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?263767 ) that in a real-life scenario the Na’vi would have been massacred; sure, but who would have loved the movie then? At the same time, anyone familiar with the Gaia hypothesis knows that the idea of a planet as an integrated organism is hardly new; it’s been around for ages. There’s plenty of reason to think that global warming and desertification is the planet’s response to the damage we humans are wreaking on it; Cameron merely exaggerated it and converted it to a form that can be depicted in a movie of this type.

    Another thing: a depiction of the wholesale massacre of the Na’vi might have been more realistic, but the message of the film is that corporate greed and militarism can and must be fought by all means possible. I realise that in today’s India greed is God, and nothing else matters, but this film was made for a global audience who have to be enthused to believe that corporate entities must, and more importantly, can, be beaten. That is the essential meaning of the film.

    Any proper review couldn’t but get these points. In any case, this movie isn’t a brainless entertainer; it’s meant to be a polemic against corporate greed and blind militarism. One of the ironies of your so-called review is that you seem to have missed the point the actual targets got, all right: the American right condemned the film for allegedly “cheering for the deaths of US soldiers at the hands of insurgents”. One might as well add “cheering for the losses made by American companies”, because as Dwight Eisenhower said half a century ago, the US military and the US industry are no longer separate but the two parts of one single complex. But then as I said yours isn’t a review; it’s just an attempt to show how very, very clever you are.

    A pathetic attempt, may I add.

    Avatar may be a lousy film; I don’t know. But your review is no better, and that I do know.

    Goodbye and good luck.

    • Sahil Rizwan says:

      So you like my reviews, yeah?

      • In that it reinforces my opinion of my own genius vis-a-vis your obtuseness, yes, I do. This review. I’m not interested in accessing your other reviews.

        • Sahil Rizwan says:

          Glad I could help, man! =)

          • It’s almost as if you are laughing out loud and being completely gracious at the same time 🙂

          • Ramaa Ramesh says:

            ROFL, Sahil! What a comeback! He just spent 1427 (?) words and a lot of time telling you exactly why he shouldn’t be spending so many words and so much time on you. How EPIC is that? You just climbed a few notches higher on the Bleddy Poppular Writer Peoples’ list.

            Oh, and he hasn’t watched the movie to begin with, I note. #FAIL, yes?

          • Ms Ramesh, the point is that even if someone who hasn’t watched the film can dissect Mr Sahil’s so-called review so effortlessly, someone who’s seen the film can obviously find even more points to take apart. You’ll notice I haven’t approached Mr Sahil’s depiction of the wheelchair-bound hero because not having seen the film I can’t comment on him.

            Ms Bitchy Bitch did, and has, though.

          • Yup. As amazing as ever, Sahil! =)

        • Arjun says:

          Dude, my company needs copywriters and product critiques. Will pay you for writing this stuff. Totally. And then I wouldn’t have to say this to you “Get a job, man.”

          • Thanks, i already have a job, and earn more than your company would probably pay me. I wrote this in order to explain to my friend exactly why she, or anyone else who’s misled into thinking that this so-called review is anything they should tske seriouisly for a moment, Also, I’m told this link is floating round the net. Since the average Indian net user has the brainpower of a retarded cockroach (check the diction common to your fan club, Mr Sahil, for instance) I hope that anyone who reads Ms Bitchy Bitch, me, or one or two other thinking respondents here will understand that there may be views on this topic apart from your own.

            By the way, check out Monbiot’s article while you’re about it. If you want to criticise Avatar and make sense while doing so, you might start there.

          • Arjun says:

            So, you mean, you’re basically taking on an army of jolly good folks (obviously inferior to your good self in brainpower and compensation) to prove a point to your friend? Damn, where did I see that? (Hint: scroll above).

            Oh, and yes, why are you so frust?

          • “obviously inferior to your good self in brainpower and compensation”

            Well, that goes without saying, doesn’t it?

            Yes, I am an arrogant son of a bitch. So what? I’m well aware that I am more intelligent than you, so I have a right to be arrogant. Deal with it while you kep vapidly clapping for Mr Sahil.

          • And, oh, what is “frust”?

          • Arjun says:

            What is frust? I think it goes beyond saying that Mr. Smart Alec is expected to know that. Isn’t it? And your awareness about your super intelligence could be as accurate (or flawed, I hope) as your understanding of an arrogant son of whatever.

            You’re right, you are obviously more enlightened than any of us out here. The guy who plays “my celebrity lookalikes” has to be the brightest kid in the block. The only guy brighter than him could be the one who actually cares about this bs so much that he comes back here to reply. And again. What Balls man!

            Ouch. Did that hurt? Deal with it. I’m done here.

            @sahil Good work man!

      • HRJ says:

        Haven’t taken off your 3D glasses yet?

    • Harsha says:

      @ Bill

      Avatar was made to pander to the unintelligent crowd about the evils of corporate greed, while making more than enough money for its makers. Assuming they get the message, they will adopt the newest fad about the environment, whether true or false, harmful or helpful, and forget it when the next movie comes out. The money, however, is for sure.

      Do take a look at the rest of the comics on the website. If you watch the average bollywood movie, you’ll realize that this is basically the best way to stop people from watching the same sub-standard cliche ridden story that has been rehashed for over twenty years in this business. It worked on several of my friends in college, who needed to realize that there are better ways to kill your brain cells, like alcohol.

    • ApplePolisher says:

      Bill The Butcher: This is a late comment, but do pay attention and try not to let the volcano of verbiage roiling inside you try to bust loose. I’m a journalist: part of my job is to review movies, and books, among other reviewable things. I never critique a movie I haven’t seen, nor a book I haven’t read.

      You’re so full of crock, man.

    • anuj says:

      butcher bro.. that was some crap.. u could have masturbated instead of this shit if u were so depressed… well cheerup u DICKHEAD 🙂 no hard feelings

  63. ajnabi says:

    But… I like being primitive and simplistic. Is Bill saying that’s bad? Cuz now I don’t know what to think of my inferior-to-European self.

    Seriously, Sahil, the Jadoo pic just slayed me. I’m still laughing.

  64. Hello Kitty says:

    Bill, you’re quite a hoot. I’m surprised you couldn’t come up with something better than ‘retarded cockroach’. No big deal, you can work on it. Also, Mr., which is the shortened form of Mister, ends with a little dot, called a period. No no, not the kind that makes sexual intercourse or gay sex with a woman messy. This is the one on your keyboard. Same goes for Miss. You could work on your sentence formation too. Also, please capitalise your Is. Or should I say capitalize? Well, I’m guessing you wouldn’t know the difference.

    Sahil’s short reply suggests that you are as useful to him as a female prostitute to a homosexual man. You, Bill, on the other hand keep thrusting your slutty little jugs into his face. We understand you’re only doing your job. We understand, Bill, we really do.

    To end with your own thoughts, your comments weren’t really comments. They were attempts to show how clever you are. Agreed, you are. But that doesn’t make you any less of a female prostitute throwing her slutty little jugs into a homosexual man’s face. Therefore, you sir, fail. Miserably.

  65. MumbaiCentral says:


    Well done James. At this rate, it’ll take you another 15 years to come up with the sequel. You have several thousand tweets to critique as well, after all.

  66. thewindfaery says:

    funny! have posted a link in my facebook profile, hope you don’t mind

  67. Zaara says:

    hahahaha oh man the end was excellent! you are too good

  68. AM says:

    wtf bitches… lol… comments – lol-er…

  69. Jaydev says:

    Avatar’s story suck as hell..it has aweeeeesome SPIRITUAL subtle angles that was not explored…and turned it into a TERMINATOR type movie..with wannabe MATRIX spirituality. The script holes are so fucking big..I wanted to kill the whole team for ruining a PERFECT “MATrIX” plot of the century with so much humanity and stunned spirtual angle..I was so sad it turned out to be a B-grade movie..with spectacular animation..
    Sahil, you rightly point out the unexplained and illogical thingies & blackhole grade plot holes… like need for avatar body,human+navi gene mixing, do-navi know you are spying or do you not questions..all are left unexamined..and un-revisted..I am so sad for the WASTED EFFORT..and what an EFFORT IT WAS..The acting and expression were grade A though..

  70. ADJ says:

    You guys are a riot!! Love it.

    You should also see – http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com ‘s version!!

    @SR – keep em coming bro – sheer genius.

  71. kong kahn says:

    wadafuck bitchy bitches !!

  72. Varun says:

    Meh…@wordy-bitch and @butcherboy….i’m sure ya’ll write ’em comments like the Dickens but can u like add a li’l ASCII art in your magnum pusses cuz all those words make my nut ache n my nut dont like that one li’l bit

    @Rizzman — finally! a reason to log on to the web apart from getting shag material….O YEAHHH (say it like macho man randy savage)

  73. Say What says:

    More like Bill the Bullshitter. First of all why is he on this Indian blog site? Clearly he is intimidated an obsessed with Indians. Mr. Bill, you’re writing style, anger, hate, and arrogance tells us many things about you:

    1) You are probably jobless and hence spending so much time on the internet
    2) You lack verbal communication skills so you just write write write worrying about Grammar??? Give me A bReak MAn. Your ass seems tighter than a nun’s asshole
    3) Athiest = Hopeless. You probably got short changed in life. (Small penis maybe… butt ugly face …OR did your daddy touch you on your privates when you were a kid? or maybe he still does) so you hate God. Well maybe you don’t want to think that God hates you so its easier to think there is no God.
    4) You are a definite LONER!
    5) Indians scare the hell out of you….well there are going to be more and more and more. They are growing exponentialy because God wants it that way. Tough shit.

    Hey wait did your mom run away with an Indian guy?

    Get a life loser

    • Sachin says:

      Mr Say What, I believe this is totally uncalled for, in a war of words, you are the man standing in the corner with a water cannon pointed towards your unkind self.

      Never ever make it personal. Its not a graceful way out when you run out of something intelligent to say. People here are expressing their thoughts freely, we love debate, opinionated or otherwise, that’s why we come here. we don’t need u to come and spread your hate message here as well. grow up dude. If u don’t like it, run from here to places where u will be appreciated. Its just a click away hopefully.

    • Bill the Butcher says:

      This is what I love about Rizwan’s fan club. This moron here doesn’t even know who I am or where I live and makes assumptions, on which he builds a framework of abuse, and finishes off with more abuse. I really appreciate him because it proves what I feel about Rizwan and his fan club. Thanks again, Say What.

      • ApplePolisher says:

        Don’t diss Rizwan and his fan club. At the very least, we’re all Mightier Than The Sword.

  74. Sachin says:

    I racked my brains hard to come up with something smart to say…. but then i thought to myself… why?????

    Thanks for the entertainment…. Bill the Butcher, Bitchy Bitch and Sahil Rizwan, we should put all you vampires into one arena and turn out the lights and see if the next review will be written in blood, sweat or tears. (ha ha ha, crazy maniacal laughter fills the blog…. and spills out of the keyboard) Admit it… its a thought… all in the name of intellectual entertainment, I say.

  75. Rahul says:

    Bitchy Bitch!!!
    I LOVE you!!!
    Sahil, the comic is good, as always. raised some valid points. bitchy bitch countered them well. =)
    all in all, great going man!
    excellent website and excellent posts!
    comments, even better.
    PS I Love You Bitch 😉

  76. madhavi says:

    really why are people taking this seriously…. the whole point of humour , intelligent or otherwise , is to have fun….. which this site provides in good measure.
    and who the hell cares about correct grammar on the internet?
    sahil you are really good. like really awesome and all.

  77. marinel says:

    ang cute cute ng drawing nyu haha…

  78. rabia says:

    hahahhaha…totally awesome!!! loved the last panel! kudos to u!

  79. Tarun says:

    Duuuude!! The last slide was killllllerrr! I was literally laughing to splits!

  80. Bill the Butcher says:

    Hey, Rizwan, I’d like to direct your attention to this article here: http://subversify.com/2010/04/23/avatar-a-discussion/ where I’ve done you a good turn by giving your site and your … fan club … some free publicity. You ought to be grateful to me.

  81. Udit says:

    Wow ^^ . Someone’s really bored and out of job eh Rizwan? 😛 Good job on the review though , but I read the review AFTER I went to the movie so .. ya it failed it’s purpose on me and my friends atleast. But certainly passed the review on to others to let them know how brilliant the movie is 😛 xD! Looking forward to more reviews 😉

  82. Kavisol says:

    @Bill the Butcher: I read your blog and all i can deduce is that you hate anything that is popular with the mainstream. And thats probably the reason why Sahil’s blog pisses you off so much, it’s popular and you can’t just take it!!!
    Get over it sir!!!
    P.S: Stop trying to get popular by criticizing other popular people on their blog, you are not in high school anymore.

    • Anupama says:

      Totally agree with you…
      This butcher guy is obsessed with Sahil’s popularity and cant even look at him wid one green eye 😛 :P…
      And all he gets on his “EPIC” blog for avatar are a lousy 13 comments… heheh

  83. Minerva says:

    Great review. Wasted 2+ hours of my life, Avatar. Total fail.

  84. JBourne says:


    I saw a link to this comment trail from your summary post. Parody or Review classification does not matter, we enjoy your work. Keep it coming.

    Regarding “Bill the Butcher”, he claims “this moron does not know who I am, but makes assumptions”, however that does not stop him from proclaiming that he is smarter than the guys here, for knowing his command of his first language is better than their third language. The need to debate a point, based on “I am intelligent, so I must be right”, instead of looking at it objectively, is a common symptom of insecurities. Let the windbag admire his work at his blog link.

  85. manoj says:

    Avatar has the same story of the disney film Pocahontas (1995 film).

  86. niharika says:

    one of your best posts….great ending…”what the fuck bitches” 😛 ROFL

  87. M says:

    Keep it coming! Bill the Butcher sucks.

  88. NoBitchin says:

    bitchy bitch makes weak justification..complex navi body instead of some robot ! humans can attack with their own body:D
    sahil or any1 els here know the moral of the story!but the movie is UNintentionally funny:D

  89. Pauletta says:

    I have seen lots of useful elements on your internet site about personal computers. However, I’ve the opinion that notebook computers are still not quite powerful enough to be a good choice if you typically do projects that require lots of power, for instance video enhancing. But for internet surfing, word processing, and majority of other common computer functions they are okay, provided you can’t mind small screen size. Thank you sharing your ideas.

  90. S says:

    loved the movie, liked the review, absolutely enjoyed the comments!!! 🙂

  91. Girish says:

    Two things I loved about this post – “WTF, bitches!” and Bitchy Bitch!

  92. Rishi says:

    Dude Sahil, you must have a really pretty butt coz a lot of people seem to love kissing it here. I like your work man but I’m sure even you’re tired of so many people ‘ROFLing’, ‘LMAOing’ and generally patronising you… Ah, the inconveniences of fame.

  93. mitch says:

    @bill the butcher :- aren’t you from Europe ??
    lots of praise coming from you ( very surprising ) unless you are from there . . !!!

  94. Pracheese says:

    First of all take a bow!!! You deserve all the applaud coming ur way for the wicked and clever humor u present here. I am totally addicted to ur stick stars!!!
    I just have one point to make about the bow and arrow thing… though its already streached to the limit, but for me it was very obvious for Na’vi to use those, since any kind of nuclear wepon, bombs or what-so-ever would mean troubling their mother nature. And this really doesnt mean that I have a problem with ur ‘evolutionary fail’ bit. I loved every bit of this and all the other strip.

    U rock \m/

  95. Varun says:

    Rizwan bhai, since you are so fanatic about the plot loopholes, well your idea that their asses are stuck with bows and arrows in 21st century is flawed. Its a different planet and the Navi’s might have evolved recently.. They may be the Indus Valley equivalent of Pandora… Its 21st Century for you, not for them :))

    And even if these are on same timelines, it may happen — on earth, some people had gun powder and some didn’t… So no flaw in the plot about that..